Previously Untitled…Face Palms!

My cold is now on the wane.  I’ve heard from my aunt and things sound promising.  I even got to chatter with John for thirty minutes about gardening, mostly.  The day is looking good.  Focus now goes to my current project.  A conversation with my two best friends Cynthia and Rachel, caused me to hunt down 107 handwritten pages of story I started writing Freshman year of highschool.  OH!  The Face-Palms!

I have to keep reminding myself that I was fourteen when I started writing it.  In fact, it has become a sort of mantra “I was only fourteen, I was only fourteen, I was only fourteen…” At the moment, I’m writing it on the online typewriter so that I can save it to PDF format.  I’m changing spelling, some punctuation, and other very minor differences, but the rest I am painfully keeping true to so that Rachel can be able to read it as it was, because the moment I dig my editing claws into it, it won’t be so recognizable as the work of a young teenager.

If anyone that knew me on a BBS reads this, even under a pseudonym, they would know who wrote it just by the names I gave the main character.  See, in the original I gave the characters screen names for their real names, and if they were on the computer they had real names for their screen names.  My main character got to have both of my screen names as her name.  I cringe!

But not only that makes me cringe!  Like Stephanie Meyer overusing chagrined, I over use grin shamelessly.  I was only fourteen, I was only fourteen, I was only fourteen.  I also have some inconsistencies in time frames.  For instance, the infant stages of the internet did not come about back in 87…so I bumped up the dates ten years for that purpose.  I think what I wanted to do was make the year I was writing the story be the present day where the main character was an adult…but the whole being able to hack into computers when she was in highschool in the late eighties just doesn’t mesh now that I look back.  I think my logic was that since I knew there were some computers back then, that their had to be internet, I just wasn’t connected yet.  Yeah…convoluted logic.

Again, I cringe.  Yes my character falls in love, or lust, whichever you want to put it down as, many times.  She’s almost instantly swept off her feet by a total stranger, or so she thinks.  And the different things I threw in there cause I thought they were cool at the time just boggles the mind!  I was only fourteen, I was only fourteen, I was only fourteen!

Rachel, God love her, said she was starting to get kind of into it after reading 6 typed pages.  I think it’s no better than the nameless story by MMD, but Rachel assures me that it’s not that bad, and I’ve grown in the past fourteen years.  So, I continue my self-inflicted-torture of making it digital, not editing it the way I want to.  But I will!  As soon as I type up the last handwritten page, I will plow through that story like a Kansas farmer when the snow melts!

I took a break last night from typing it, and finished reading all of the handwritten pages.  It is not a totally hopeless case, but a lot will be changed.  I swear though, I will finish this story!  It has been around now for half of my life and its high time I gave it the ending I was going to give it!  But only the edited version is going to have the ending.  Though there are 107 handwritten pages, my story still lacks an ending, though I know how it ends, just have to actually write myself into it.

But anyway, I need to get back to that digital transfer of my story since I didn’t get enough done yesterday to send my Rei rei into fits of squees!  Must up my quota of squees!


About Cici Brown
I'm a happily married mother of two and a half. I'm usually pretty bubbly and in some cases, according to my husband, too open about everything. I am and always will be a gamer geek, though I haven't table-top roleplayed for many years. I still manage to hit an MMO or two. My interests include most things geek and Vampire fiction, though not the sparkly kind, that's not vampire fiction. I have goals towards publishing that have yet to be fulfilled but one day...

One Response to Previously Untitled…Face Palms!

  1. Neil says:

    this one struck close to home. i know how it feels reading now the things we wrote when we were younger (come to think of it, i cringe reading what i wrote weeks ago!). i recently found a box that contained some of my works from way back. apparently, dad collected every single article i wrote over the years, and he was really sweet having done that. i briefly browsed some of my earlier pieces and nearly choked! overcome with shame, i quickly threw them back into the box. yeah, they were that bad. i was only fourteen.

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