I Lied, You Know I Did…

Here’s the thing.  I’ve had some crappy experiences in my love life.  Some really crappy experiences!  Not to say I’ve been an angel in the world of love, I’ve had my moments of infidelity that I’m not proud of, and my moments of not caring that I was the other woman.  That one is almost justifiable, though.  He’d been seeing her on the sly while dating me, and when we broke up, the roles became reversed.  So, yeah I didn’t give a fuck that the stupid bitch was getting the same medicine.  Still not a proud moment.  This here is my confession time about all those suck ass moments in my romantic life, either where I lied, or they did.  Either way, it’s all torrid and names have been changed to protect the guilty, except for me…wait, no.  I will now be Bob!

These go in no particular order except for the lie that I remembered which inspired this post…ready? You better be cause there’s more language!

Lory, when I told you that you should try to get published because your “stories” were so real, I was being catty.  I knew that what you’d written about fucking my boyfriend in your journal was not a story and was still badly written.  Now you’ve gone and wasted poor precious trees self-publishing your migraine inducing drivel.  I lied, you know I did…

Tom, when I said I wanted to start from scratch, I was really looking to erase the memory of Jim and the life of hell I lived with him.  You were going to be a rebound that didn’t last, if we even started.  The fact that you’re buddy with Lory just makes me all the more happy that it never happened!  I lied, you know I did…

Also Tom, when you said that you’d been with more people than I had after we broke up (though I was still having sex more often) I think your math had to be a little off.  I’ll give you Glenda, and the chick I caught you playing video games with on your bed, but I’ve heard some stories about chicks you’d “hooked up” with, and just admit it, it wasn’t that many.  You lied, you know you did…

Jack, you were my second lover and a virgin when I got to you.  I still hadn’t had a real orgasm with a guy and though you were amazing, you still didn’t make it to the punch.  Sorry I was too inexperienced to figure it out.  I lied, you know I did.

Suzie, Though we were together twice, it was terrible!  Participation is mandatory unless your partner is a necrophiliac! And if you’re going to send nude pictures, strait shots of your tits generally don’t cut it, neither does just standing there. Sending them to my significant other was just insulting.  I lied, you know I did.

Brent, yeah, I would have fucked you right then and there!  Are you kidding me, you were fucking gorgeous!  Of course, you would have freaked right the crap out when you realized you’d taken my virginity on a floor! I lied, you know I did…though not about what you thought at the time cause I’m sure you didn’t believe me when I said I was a virgin…

Kyle, I vaguely remember calling you on the phone and saying “I love you”, then hanging up.  It was on a dare, and I wasn’t serious.  Still, the fact that you decided to never talk to me again until years later makes me happy that you failed to  break through my hymen.  I lied, you know I did…

Tom, sorry to pick on you but I have to say, I wish Zander had taken my virginity, not you.  It was fun, but he was my real first love, and that’s why you hated his name so much.  Didn’t think your speckled penis made me forget him, did you? I lied, you know I did…


About Cici Brown
I'm a happily married mother of two and a half. I'm usually pretty bubbly and in some cases, according to my husband, too open about everything. I am and always will be a gamer geek, though I haven't table-top roleplayed for many years. I still manage to hit an MMO or two. My interests include most things geek and Vampire fiction, though not the sparkly kind, that's not vampire fiction. I have goals towards publishing that have yet to be fulfilled but one day...

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