Don’t Scoff at the Silly Person

How do I start this one?  My Step-daughter and I like to go grocery shopping together.  It is our time to bond, and we both enjoy it a lot!  I can be myself with her, and know that she is just as goofy as I am! However, people around us may think that a thirty-year-old woman shouldn’t be singing in the middle of a store, or dancing to Gangnam Style in her car, or waving at total strangers while at stop-lights.    Perhaps they think that as an adult, I should act like one, or be more “modest”.  Why does getting older mean that you have to loose your ability to laugh, and play?  Why is that?

Look, life is not all peaches and cream.  I know this, I’ve been there, gotten the t-shirt.  It is a sad thing though, when someone can’t find the time to smile and be goofy occasionally.   If life is trying to get you down, sometimes the only thing that keeps you sane is someone cracking jokes.  Sure, there’s a time and a place for being serious, but if you’re serious all the time, you start to find it harder and harder to get out of the black mar of life!  Again, I know, I was there, didn’t even want the t-shirt I got!  I kept letting things get me down, kept slowly sliding into the pits of self-loathing until one day I found myself contemplating how deeply my razor could cut into my wrists, and if every pill in my cabinet would be enough to take away all the pain.

Fear not, that part of my life is over.  I got away from that way of thinking, and have been slowly re-discovering myself over the years, trying to find that element that was me.  And the me I found is silly, playful, and becoming assertive.  I’m open for the most part about what I feel, and I’m not afraid to cry when I see a touching credit card commercial.   I’m more likely to talk to a group of people than I used to be, but I will not allow anyone to make me feel the way I did before.

My silliness keeps me sane.  I have an unusual sense of humor that gets me into trouble sometimes, but it brings me joy, and that helps to fight away the clouds of depression that hang over me more often than I’d like.  I stopped worrying about how some people think about me, and have grown to love the silly girl inside that will never turn into the sour biddies that occasionally crawl out of their unfunny caves to rain on everyone’s parade.  I’m a fun and loving person who is determined to try to bring joy to people if she can who will grow into the eccentric old lady with the neon house and ankle-length tie-died skirts.  I won’t change just cause you think I should, and I won’t apologize for being that way.  Don’t scoff at the silly person!

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About Cici Brown
I'm a happily married mother of two and a half. I'm usually pretty bubbly and in some cases, according to my husband, too open about everything. I am and always will be a gamer geek, though I haven't table-top roleplayed for many years. I still manage to hit an MMO or two. My interests include most things geek and Vampire fiction, though not the sparkly kind, that's not vampire fiction. I have goals towards publishing that have yet to be fulfilled but one day...

3 Responses to Don’t Scoff at the Silly Person

  1. dogfordavid says:

    Love this! It’s been your sense of humor and zest for life that I have always loved best about you among a long list of even more wonderful reasons to love you. 🙂

    I am saddened to hear the part where it got so painfully dark… I’ve been there too…

    Don’t let others get you down or try to keep you there. You are a wonderful and fun person and we need more people like that in this world. : )

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