Two Months of Writing Prompts: Day Five

That last one was kinda dark I suppose.  It really couldn’t be helped, it was the one that spoke the most to me at the time.  This next one should make a few of you laugh, and those that it doesn’t…This disclaimer is for you.

The following “essay” was written for satirical purposes, and should not in any way be taken seriously!  I don’t consider myself as an authority on how people should write, but just about everything you read in the essay is ABSOLUTE RUBBISH AND SHOULD BE TAKEN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT!

That said, please enjoy my next writing prompt:

Write an essay full of grammatical, scientific, mathematical, or historical errors.

In order to right a competent article, or any written work there are five basic rules you must fallow.  Most people don’t no these rules, and so, they fail, but if you do them, you will be good to right.

The first thing you gotta do is use a thesaurus for every word.  Keeping what you right fresh and knew isn’t as impromptu as showing how many words you now that mean the same thing!  Most people will applaud you for knowing such obscure, or not well known words, and if you write the definition for them, it will help eliminate your readers to your level.  Likewise, if a reader complains that they don’t know half of what your saying, it means they are knot as smart as you.  Don’t worry if your placement isn’t quite write, if it looks ok, then no one will notice.  In the end you well look more smarter if you change every word you kan.  So do it.

Second, pick a topic that has been done a lot.  You need to be able to easily research what you are writing about, and if the subject is popular, you will find lots of stuff to read about it.  Besides, popular works are red more.  Don’t worry if you don’t care about what your righting about, no won will notice.  In fact, it will speed up your righting if you copy what other people have written.  Just change a few things to make it your own and you are all set!

Fourth, use the spell chequer on your computer to make sure nothing is miss spelled.  A lot of writers are notorious for breaking writing rules, but as long as you catch spelling errors, no one will care.  If you write a book and forget to fix bad grammar.  A editor will correct your missed steaks.  That’s what they get paid to doe.

Fifth, squirrel!  The object of surprise is always good.  Random is even better.  Surprise your readers, make them think.  It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make since or has nothing to do with what you write about or is wrong.  Randomality is the spice of the writing world.  Make up words all the time its fun!

If you follow these five iron-clad rules that can never be broken, you will be will on your way to becoming a Nobel Piece Prize Winning author.  Don’t ever deviate, writing is never subjective and your audience is supposed to believe everything you say.  However, if you don’t, you are the world’s worst writer and should never pick up a pencil to do anything but stick up your nose like the neanderthal you are.

The End

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About Cici Brown
I'm a happily married mother of two and a half. I'm usually pretty bubbly and in some cases, according to my husband, too open about everything. I am and always will be a gamer geek, though I haven't table-top roleplayed for many years. I still manage to hit an MMO or two. My interests include most things geek and Vampire fiction, though not the sparkly kind, that's not vampire fiction. I have goals towards publishing that have yet to be fulfilled but one day...

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