WMHB Chapter 2: A.K.A. Show & Tell

When I originally started reviewing this chapter it took me several days to recover.  I am nothing if not a masochistic book reader, hence the category.  So, here I come back to inflict some more agony upon myself, and to share it with those of you willing to read my own personal tripe.  I mean, lets be honest, I’m criticizing her for the horrid work she published, but when will I ever put my money where my mouth is?  Hold that thought!

This one was tough to get through.  I mean I’m starting to think that it may take me more than a week to finish the next one, with how hard this one was.  Just a warning, your entertainment may not come every week on schedule.  Guess you’ll just have to enjoy my writing prompts instead.

Alright, alright.  I know what you are really here for!  Onward to literary torture!!!

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WMHB Chapter 1: AKA Incompetent Scientist is Incompetent

So, I’ve come back to continue this book.  Do I dare remind everyone the last time I tried to read this, I’d gotten a migraine?  This time I’m fighting with neck pain, but that’s not related to this book.  It may make me a little more snarky though.  Now I know I said “Tune in next week” or some cheesy line to that effect, but I don’t know if I can, in fact get through a whole chapter in one week.  Sure, I can read it like Speedy Gonzales on crack but when it comes to writing a commentary, there are going to be chapters where it will seem like every single sentence is something to scoff at.  Don’t believe me? Wait till chapter 2…trust me!  So if I don’t update this every week, you’ll know why.

I would like to point out that this is not, in fact the worst thing I’ve read.  It’s damn close though!  Anyway, I know what you really want is to find out how we go from modern day to Tombstone, Arizona.  Patience, we’ll get there sooner than you can say “drunk scientist”!

…I realize there are a few smart asses out there that just said “drunk scientist” to prove that statement wrong.  To you fine people, I have but one reply…

😛

ON TO CHAPTER ONE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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WMHB Prologue: A.K.A. Trapped Inside Main Character’s Head…Help!

I was inspired by blogger Jenny Trout who reviewed the 50 Shades Novels.  She posted reviews of each individual chapter with loving snark that brought me to tears with laughter.  It couldn’t have been easy.  I’ve given myself migraines trying to read a really bad book, so I commend her for sticking to the project even when it was obviously painful to do.  She took something utterly horrid, and made something beautiful with it!  It’s because of her that I’m writing this now.  Remember that book that gave me a migraine?  Well I’m giving it to you.  Not all of it, but a general feel for what happens and my personal two-cents on them.  It’s somewhat in the same style as Jenny, with a few quotes and passages from the book itself.  Anything in red italics is a direct quote from the book and is not my own wording.  As a side note the book is only ever going to be referred to as WMHB, (link to a little synopsis of said book there) and the only names I’m going to use are the ones for the historical characters, as everyone else could be called anything under the sun and it wouldn’t change a damn thing.

Why am I doing this?  I just can’t stop myself.  The premise was so promising, and it got ruined so terribly by the author’s own vanity.  If they had just edited, and proofread and edited some more then maybe it would have been enjoyable and I could gladly give them kudos for a job well done.  But I can’t.  I could say congrats on finishing a story, but then I’d feel like I was giving them a participation trophy.  Honestly, there really should have been someone to point out that it needed quite a bit of polish before going out.  Really, they should have.

But all that aside, I also wanted to do this to see if there was a way to salvage it.  I wanted to see if, chapter by chapter, there was any saving it in the first place.  I mean, I can say that with editing it could have been good, but just how much editing would have had to happen?  Would the story even be recognizable in the end?  I post the question to you as I sort of pick it apart here.  What do you think? Will you join me on this journey into literary torture? If you’re still here, I have my answer.  Onward!

Also, in an effort of full disclosure, I was given a free copy by a friend, for an honest review.  Also, to show that I’m not just picking and choosing sentences that have problems, I provide the first paragraph of each chapter to you for free. You’re welcome. Read more of this post

Dun Dun Dunnn!

Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and Girls! It’s time again for another installment of Cici’s favorite posts from Dear Old Love!  This is where I post my favorites from the last month of Dearoldlove.com and put them here for all of you to read.  Feel free to check out their page too!

Really I was going to just work on pretty big cut and paste project today…but the computer keeps randomly losing what I’m working on.  It’s the most frustrating thing so I’m working on this instead…ENJOY!!! Read more of this post

Can You Guess What I’m Gonna Write Next???

Ah no…the romantic in me can’t pull away from this tumblr…  Don’t worry, I’m nothing if not predictable in my posts.  A few tirades, some day-in-the-life-of’s, maybe a review here and there, then interspersed with those, a couple DEAROLDLOVE’s.  You guessed it! I’m gonna post my own personal selections from the past couple of weeks of Dearoldlove.com for all of you to read and feel as nostalgic as I am! Muahahahaha!  I know, I know, didn’t I just do one of these recently? Eh! I’ll try to forget about the site again for another six months, but I make no guarantees!  If you’d like, go check out the page for yourself, make your own selections, and feel the love…or hate, whichever you gravitate to!  And, if you want to see previous posts like this one, you can see them here, here, here, and here.  I do not own Dearoldlove nor claim any of the posts therein. Read more of this post

Cellphone Posts are the Bomb!

I’m eating my cereal and coffee and posting with an HTC hero that my friend Duane gave to me. Be sure to check out his writing in the Rough Writer’s side links! Or just click the direct link on his name. It’s all in it’s rough stages on purpose. Just like I keep mine password protected so only the ones I trust can read my stuff, only he knows how he’s going to polish his work.
Anyway, I’m on this phone, and although its slower than typing on a keyboard, its faster than having to wait till I get to my computer. I don’t have a calling plan with the phone, so when I’m away from a WiFi area, I can’t do anything net related. Plans? We don’t need no stinking plans!
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Aaaaaand More Dear Old Love!

Hahahaha I couldn’t help it.  I walk away from it for a while, then I jump right back and read up on it’s tumblr!  It’s time for another round of Dear Old Love posts.   For those of you not familiar, Dear Old Love started as a book where each entry in it was a small anonymous sentence or two about someone they used to love, or were in a relationship with at one point.  Again, they can seem like they were written by your own exes at times.  Some are bittersweet, others are catty.  I can’t get enough of them!  I don’t post every one I see on the tumblr, but I do post the ones I like or the ones that hit home the most.  So, without further ado… Read more of this post

One Cup, or 500???

It’s National Coffee Day, so in honor of this wonderful day, and because I haven’t done one in an awfully long time, I’m going to do multiple reviews in Coffeelog!  I intended on OD’ing on every available coffee in my house, starting with a mystery bag of coffee grounds I found that isn’t labeled, but though it wasn’t a huge variety, apparently 8-10 cups of caffeine is all my body can do at the moment.  Besides, how useful would I be if my heart stopped?

So, without further ado, CoffeeLog!

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Dear Old Love…Once again…

What can I say, I’m a hopeless romantic and this sight just pulls at those heartstrings, or just makes me laugh thinking I wish I could say some of this to my less liked exes.  I’m just posting my favorites, but feel free to check their site out for yourself! dearoldlove

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On Fan Fiction Stories

I’ve realized that most of my recent posts have been either private or password protected, so I thought I’d give some of you something to read.  I don’t even know why I made the Harry Potter Fan-fiction password protected other than the fact that it had mature content, and I’d rather not have someone’s mother angry at me.  I’ve been looking at my older journals and finding story bits that I put in there, which is why the Fan-fiction came out.  I have a small bit of fan-fiction in my arsenal because who hasn’t read a book and thought “What if?”.  There are sites out there, my favorite being FanFiction.net .  In there you can find all sorts of fan-fiction, from popular movies, TV series, Cartoons, Comics, Books, and famous literature, even crossovers!  But anyway, here I go, writing about fan-fiction and how I feel about what I find.

Ready-Set-Go!

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