The sound of smooth jazz played over the speaker-phone as Amy dumped out her coffee pot. Her nose curled at the aroma of hot vinegar, but she knew it was a necessary evil. She rinsed it thoroughly then refilled the reservoir and ran it again. This time, it ran through quicker, and though there was a lingering odor in the air, she couldn’t detect any vinegar in the water. After measuring grounds, rinsing the pot and filling the reservoir one final time, she turned it back on. While she waited, she prepared her mug with three spoons of sugar then glanced back at the clock.
It was now going on ten minutes of being put on hold just so that she could get her taxes straitened out. She knew it was going to take this long, though. Yesterday she’d been on for twenty minutes before getting to talk to a real human being. The coffee maker hadn’t finished brewing before she’d gotten off the phone. It hadn’t been a good day, but that wasn’t going to fly today. If she didn’t get at least one cup of java into her system before the run around started, she was going to murder someone.
Five minutes later, Amy had a cup of sweet coffee in her hands and was laying back in her super comfortable office chair humming to the muzac version of a popular pop song. Her own phone system wasn’t nearly so intricate. Being a fairly new carpenter and all, her business didn’t require anything like that. However, she imagined she’d use something similar to Offspring’s Intermission if she had one.
She continued to sip absentmindedly at her coffee while she waited. The jazzy tunes were beginning to lull her to sleep when the sound of a human voice startled her. Her arms flailed wide as she tried to keep herself from falling out of her chair and onto the floor. It wasn’t graceful, and she was glad no one was around to witness it.
As she put herself together, she noticed the office had gone quiet. Down at her feet, she saw the scattered bits of her phone. Whatever voice she’d gotten, was no longer on the other line, no music would play from the receiver. She’d successfully disconnected the call by dismemberment of phone. Frustrated beyond words, she grabbed up the bits and put them back together checking to make sure it wasn’t permanently damaged. When she heard the dial-tone, she sighed and redialed the number to get back to the jazzy hold section of their phone maze.
Absently she toyed with her cup while contemplating the best tool in her arsenal to hunt down and dispose of the sadistic bastards at the tax office. When she brought the cup to her lips, she was met with empty air. She looked down to confirm that she had indeed consumed her first cup. With a self-depreciating smirk, she got up to refill it. Crisis Averted.