WMHB Chapter 1: AKA Incompetent Scientist is Incompetent

So, I’ve come back to continue this book.  Do I dare remind everyone the last time I tried to read this, I’d gotten a migraine?  This time I’m fighting with neck pain, but that’s not related to this book.  It may make me a little more snarky though.  Now I know I said “Tune in next week” or some cheesy line to that effect, but I don’t know if I can, in fact get through a whole chapter in one week.  Sure, I can read it like Speedy Gonzales on crack but when it comes to writing a commentary, there are going to be chapters where it will seem like every single sentence is something to scoff at.  Don’t believe me? Wait till chapter 2…trust me!  So if I don’t update this every week, you’ll know why.

I would like to point out that this is not, in fact the worst thing I’ve read.  It’s damn close though!  Anyway, I know what you really want is to find out how we go from modern day to Tombstone, Arizona.  Patience, we’ll get there sooner than you can say “drunk scientist”!

…I realize there are a few smart asses out there that just said “drunk scientist” to prove that statement wrong.  To you fine people, I have but one reply…

😛

ON TO CHAPTER ONE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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WMHB Prologue: A.K.A. Trapped Inside Main Character’s Head…Help!

I was inspired by blogger Jenny Trout who reviewed the 50 Shades Novels.  She posted reviews of each individual chapter with loving snark that brought me to tears with laughter.  It couldn’t have been easy.  I’ve given myself migraines trying to read a really bad book, so I commend her for sticking to the project even when it was obviously painful to do.  She took something utterly horrid, and made something beautiful with it!  It’s because of her that I’m writing this now.  Remember that book that gave me a migraine?  Well I’m giving it to you.  Not all of it, but a general feel for what happens and my personal two-cents on them.  It’s somewhat in the same style as Jenny, with a few quotes and passages from the book itself.  Anything in red italics is a direct quote from the book and is not my own wording.  As a side note the book is only ever going to be referred to as WMHB, (link to a little synopsis of said book there) and the only names I’m going to use are the ones for the historical characters, as everyone else could be called anything under the sun and it wouldn’t change a damn thing.

Why am I doing this?  I just can’t stop myself.  The premise was so promising, and it got ruined so terribly by the author’s own vanity.  If they had just edited, and proofread and edited some more then maybe it would have been enjoyable and I could gladly give them kudos for a job well done.  But I can’t.  I could say congrats on finishing a story, but then I’d feel like I was giving them a participation trophy.  Honestly, there really should have been someone to point out that it needed quite a bit of polish before going out.  Really, they should have.

But all that aside, I also wanted to do this to see if there was a way to salvage it.  I wanted to see if, chapter by chapter, there was any saving it in the first place.  I mean, I can say that with editing it could have been good, but just how much editing would have had to happen?  Would the story even be recognizable in the end?  I post the question to you as I sort of pick it apart here.  What do you think? Will you join me on this journey into literary torture? If you’re still here, I have my answer.  Onward!

Also, in an effort of full disclosure, I was given a free copy by a friend, for an honest review.  Also, to show that I’m not just picking and choosing sentences that have problems, I provide the first paragraph of each chapter to you for free. You’re welcome. Read more of this post

Behind…Isn’t That the Story of my Life?

Okie dokie.  I’m sure any nail connoisseur is familiar with the Chanel nail polish called Peridot that has caused such a rage.  Now, the polish was released in the fall of 2011, however I only recently happened upon it when I was looking into information on my birthstone, the Peridot.  It didn’t take me long to find that there were bottles of different brands that have put out a possible dupe, which was kind of comforting to see.  If a six dollar bottle of polish makes me cringe, a twenty-five dollar bottle of nail polish would have sent me into seizures!  Still, it took me two weeks do do it, but I found my dupe!

Chanel Peridot Nail Polish
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Can You Guess What I’m Gonna Write Next???

Ah no…the romantic in me can’t pull away from this tumblr…  Don’t worry, I’m nothing if not predictable in my posts.  A few tirades, some day-in-the-life-of’s, maybe a review here and there, then interspersed with those, a couple DEAROLDLOVE’s.  You guessed it! I’m gonna post my own personal selections from the past couple of weeks of Dearoldlove.com for all of you to read and feel as nostalgic as I am! Muahahahaha!  I know, I know, didn’t I just do one of these recently? Eh! I’ll try to forget about the site again for another six months, but I make no guarantees!  If you’d like, go check out the page for yourself, make your own selections, and feel the love…or hate, whichever you gravitate to!  And, if you want to see previous posts like this one, you can see them here, here, here, and here.  I do not own Dearoldlove nor claim any of the posts therein. Read more of this post

Meaty Reads! This One’s Short, but the Book Isn’t!

I started reading from a trilogy by Jacqueline Carey .  The first book in this trilogy is called Kushiel’s Scion.  Technically it is actually a series and this particular book is number four in it, but the books before this one were centered around Phedre, and the next three have Imriel as the main character.  I’m still on the first book, and it’s quite meaty.  I usually eat up books, but this one is so large it’s taking me several days to read through it, that and life does demand I pull away for a while and do stuff.  If you’re interested in checking them out, I would greatly recommend you start with Kushiel’s Dart.  They are all mostly stand alone books, however there is so much in the other books and you get to fall in love with characters in all of them.  Of course I always suggest you start from the beginning of a series nine times out of ten, but I’m a lover of the background and growth of characters.  I will warn you though, Jacqueline Carey is an in depth writer, and her books are extremely hefty!

One Cup, or 500???

It’s National Coffee Day, so in honor of this wonderful day, and because I haven’t done one in an awfully long time, I’m going to do multiple reviews in Coffeelog!  I intended on OD’ing on every available coffee in my house, starting with a mystery bag of coffee grounds I found that isn’t labeled, but though it wasn’t a huge variety, apparently 8-10 cups of caffeine is all my body can do at the moment.  Besides, how useful would I be if my heart stopped?

So, without further ado, CoffeeLog!

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Dear Old Love…Once again…

What can I say, I’m a hopeless romantic and this sight just pulls at those heartstrings, or just makes me laugh thinking I wish I could say some of this to my less liked exes.  I’m just posting my favorites, but feel free to check their site out for yourself! dearoldlove

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On Fan Fiction Stories

I’ve realized that most of my recent posts have been either private or password protected, so I thought I’d give some of you something to read.  I don’t even know why I made the Harry Potter Fan-fiction password protected other than the fact that it had mature content, and I’d rather not have someone’s mother angry at me.  I’ve been looking at my older journals and finding story bits that I put in there, which is why the Fan-fiction came out.  I have a small bit of fan-fiction in my arsenal because who hasn’t read a book and thought “What if?”.  There are sites out there, my favorite being FanFiction.net .  In there you can find all sorts of fan-fiction, from popular movies, TV series, Cartoons, Comics, Books, and famous literature, even crossovers!  But anyway, here I go, writing about fan-fiction and how I feel about what I find.

Ready-Set-Go!

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A Classic Blend

I’m doing another coffee log…wait what?  Yep, you read that right, I’m reviewing a coffee.  This isn’t from the Greenhouse, but it is something I found local.  The brand is called Douwe Egberts , apparently it’s a SaraLee company which is why I found these coffees at a SaraLee bread outlet.  I’m trying their Classic blend this time.  They come in small packages, probably just enough for a standard pot of coffee, I was able to brew three of my travel coffee cups with what they had in the package.  Anyway, on to the review! Read more of this post

Japan Genmaicha Yamasaki

My next tea that I’ll be reviewing from the samples given to the Garner Greenhouse by the Metropolitan Tea Company Ltd. is called Japan Genmaicha Yamasaki.  The package reads: Light golden yellow liquor with a unique toasty rice flavor tending sweet.  A tea that creates a conversation.  Luxury Ingredients: Green Tea.

That’s hardly teaser enough, but I’ve only got a little time before bed, so it’ll have to do.  Salad Fork! Read more of this post